Monday, June 21, 2010

Ramblings of an Insomniac

It's 11:39 pm.  I have to get up at 6 am.  I can't sleep...
So I thought I'd talk to you about what's on my mind.
Life is going by way too fast for me.  Some days I want it to speed up, but most days I want it to slow down, slow way down.  I know I'll wake up one day and my kids will be grown, married and have kids of their own.  Their childhoods, the toddler tantrums, bedtime stories, ballet recitals, learning to read, potty training, teaching them to ride a bike or swim... All of it will be over in the blink of an eye.  I think of Sophie as a newborn and want to cry.  Wasn't that yesterday?  Is she about to be 5!?  It just can't be.  Selah is turning into a little girl in front of my eyes.  My baby is not a baby anymore.  It makes me want to re evaluate how I spend my time.  It makes me want to savor every moment of every day with them because I know that I will look back on this time in my life, as hard as it may be sometimes, very fondly and I'll want to travel back here.
I've also been thinking a lot about how we're not promised tomorrow.  What would my life look like if I lived each day like it was my last?  Today is the day that needs to count.  Today is the day that I need to be patient and loving and be a servant to my family, friends and my Heavenly Father.  Not tomorrow.  Today.  It's so easy to get overwhelmed with life as a young(ish) mom with small kids and a busy schedule.  But, it's so important to make every moment count.  I am the queen bee of scheduling/controlling/planning.  But, I am realizing more than ever lately that you can try to schedule/control/plan all you want, but ultimately you're probably wasting a lot of time.  If you'd spend a little more time talking to God, the One who knows how many hairs are on your head and has had the days of your life numbered since the beginning of time, He could save us a lot of heartache and worry.   He wants to do that for you and for me.  He wants our hearts and minds and our lives!

Luke 12:22-34  Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

27“Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
32“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I want to teach my children to live like this.  I want to live like this. 
Carpe Diem!