Thankful!

I am thankful.  I am realizing lately that when I start to think about all the things I don't like about myself and my life, it helps to force myself to think about what is good in my life.  I heard something great on the radio the other day.  Some woman who wrote a book was talking about jealousy.  She said that whenever she finds herself becoming jealous of people, she tells herself that she is not equipped to deal with everything that comes with being that person and dealing with everything they are dealing with in their life.
Many times, I find myself feeling those icky sinful jealous feelings that are embarrassing to admit to.  But I've noticed it helps if I will stop and think, "Would I really want to trade places with that person that I am feeling jealous of, taking their good and bad?"  The answer is always "No."  The reason being is, I want all the good in their life, but I wouldn't want to deal with the bad.  And many times, as an outsider, I probably don't even know half of the "bad" they are dealing with.  It's crazy how often the people who seem to "have it all" are some of the most miserable people in the world. 
If you can't tell, I am preaching to myself here.  I am sure all of you are going, "Yeah abby, this is like Sunday school 101!"  So, you don't have to continue reading, but if you are in the same boat as me, then maybe you'll want to continue.
As I've said a few times lately on the blog, God is very obviously teaching me lessons of  learning to be content in all circumstances.  I have been fighting it when really I need to submit and learn the lesson.  I really feel that God is telling me that He wants me to learn to be totally content and joyful in my present circumstances.  So much so that, I really don't think that any of my present circumstances will change until I learn this lesson.  And, let me tell you, I am having a hard time learning it.  It's easy to say,"Okay, fine, i'm content.  Hufff.."  But, to be truly, deep down, joyful and content when there are 10 things off the top of my head that I just plain don't like in my life right now is a little more difficult.  And God is no dummy, he knows me through and through.  He also loves me more than to just spoil me, give me my way,  and let me move on without learning this lesson.  He loves me in the same way that I love my children and want to teach them these principles.  Only, His love for me is infinitely greater than the love I am capable of. 
So, I am publicly saying to the Lord, "God, if you never ever ever change my circumstances and make things the way I want them to be, I promise, I will choose every day to be content and to live a life filled with joy.   Because Lord, You have already given me more than I deserve in the form of a perfect Savior, Jesus.  If you never did another thing for me, if I lost everything I have right now, if everything and everyone I care about was taken from me, You would still be worthy and deserving of my absolute love and adoration and trust.  I don't deserve anything but death and eternity in hell, but You have given me so much more, so I am choosing today to be THANKFUL!"
I want all of you who are still reading this to know that I do not say any of this to make anyone think I am some wonderful super Christian.  Actually, it's quite the opposite.  I am sinful and dirty and jealous and selfish....  Thank Heaven for Jesus who has made me clean again.  But, I say this to maybe encourage someone who is feeing the way I feel.  Hopefully, this will help brighten your day and remind you how much God has done for you and how much He loves you!  I know when I am going through difficult times, I always want to find someone who has "been there, done that" and has come out of it better off for learning the lesson.  So, I'll leave you with a verse that I want to hang in my kitchen very soon and cling to because it is soooo true!

Proverbs 15: 16,17
Better is a little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure with trouble.
Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a fatted calf with hatred.

4.5 miles!

Woo hoo!  I ran 4.5 miles today and considering that I basically took a 3 month hiatus from any physical activity besides chasing children, I am pretty proud.  I'm surprised my muscles didn't go into total atrophy from lack of exercise.
Well, I should be honest, I walked some of it.  But as I told Trey,  I "went" 4.5 miles. 
It just sounds so much cooler to say you ran it. 
I am actually enjoying myself, not feeling too tortured, though I am still not sure about the half marathon in February (burrrrrr).  Doesn't it hurt your ears to run in the cold?  Oh, it kills mine!
I'm thinking I should start a little smaller=)  Baby steps right?
My motto right now is "one day at a time."
Oh, I need some good running shoes (cheap).  Any ideas??

Today is the Day

I almost didn't go to church this morning (because Trey was working) but I am so glad I did.  (It's actually kinda nice going and sitting alone sometimes because you don't have any distractions).  We sang this song (playing now) by Lincoln Brewster.  I've heard the lyrics a thousand times, but somehow today they spoke to me in a more powerful way.  If you have time, take a minute and read the lyrics as you listen to the song. 

I`m casting my cares aside
I`m leaving my past behind
I`m setting my heart and mind on You
Jesus

I`m reaching my hand to Yours
Believing there`s so much more
Knowing that all You have in store for me is good
Is good

Chorus:

Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won`t worry about tomorrow
I`m trusting in what You say
Today is the day
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Today is the day
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh

I putting my fears aside
I`m leaving my doubts behind
I`m giving my hopes and dreams to You
Jesus
I`m reaching my hands to Yours
Believing there`s so much more
Knowing that all You have in store for me is good
Is good


It's amazing how I can fail so miserably at remembering and resting in the most simple truths that God has given to me!  Actually living every day in total trust as He would have me is so hard.  Lately, I have been dealing with Satan placing some major fears in my heart and mind.  Sadly, rather than rebuking them immediately, I have been entertaining these fears/thoughts that are not from MY HEAVENLY FATHER to the point that they have been consuming me at times.  But today as I was worshipping, I felt God just hugging me and telling me "Trust in ME Abby, All I have in store for you is good!  Give Me your hopes and dreams, quit holding on so tightly to them." 

My life right now is so conflicting... On the one hand, I have it ALL and am so richly blessed! But on the other hand, there are a few things in my life that make me want to throw a full on, kicking, screaming adult temper tantrum.  This year has been very challenging in many ways thus far - and I am sure that there are many life challenges awaiting me around the corner.  I've never had more responsibility than I do now with my job and the girls, but Trey is busier than ever with work.  It is a DAILY struggle for me to live out the word "contentment."  I long for the day when we have a little more normalcy.  I definitely cherish the days we have together as a family more than ever before!  I'm sure God is getting a kick out of me lately in my prayers and attemtps at "bargaining" with Him to get my way. I'll just be honest though, so far, it's not working.  I have a feeling that God is trying to teach me some life lessons, so hopefully I can learn them sooner rather than later! 
Here's to keeping it real with you people.  I don't have it all together and probably never will, but that is okay, because Jesus does have it together and that is all that matters!

Running and gDiapers updates

I have only gone running 4 times since my first running post, but I ran 2 miles today without stopping, so I was really happy with that.  I am going to continue and try to pick out a 5k or 10k to do in the near future so I'll have a goal in mind. 
As far as the gDiapers, we have had some setbacks.  We were having lots of leaks and pinched skin, so we took a break, I got some tips and I'm going to try it again.  Hopefully, it's just something I was doing wrong and we'll be able to be successful this time=).  If not, I may have some gDiapers for sale soon=)

Fall Portraits

I am hosting a Fall Portrait Party this Saturday November 7th at Aldridge Gardens.  The weather and the trees should be beautiful!  Tina Folsom is the photographer and she'll be doing $25 mini sessions for the party.  We went to a Portrait Party last Fall and got some BEAUTIFUL pictures of the girls.  I am so excited to see how this years' turn out. 
Tina will be with us in the Gardens from 1-4 pm.  There are a few open slots that I'd need to fill if anyone is interested, email me at abbytwarren@yahoo.com.